


Jacob + Edward

by Pink_Haired_Queer



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Crack, Don't judge me I get bored okay, Dubious Consent, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Satire, Sorry Not Sorry, don't hurt me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-04
Updated: 2014-01-04
Packaged: 2018-01-07 11:09:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1119143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pink_Haired_Queer/pseuds/Pink_Haired_Queer





	Jacob + Edward

“Edward!” Jacob said, surprised.

He was standing in the middle of the forest, completely naked after his transformation, trying to cover his privates with his hands.

“Yes,” Edward said, running his eyes appreciatively over Jacob’s bare body. He knew Jacob was feeling uncomfortable, but he looked so sexy naked. He could hardly wait to grasp those two luscious buns in his slender white fingers…

“Um,” Jacob said, “Can you look away for a second? I need to get dressed.”

“No,” Edward said, smiling.

“Er… why not?”

“Just because you’re so hot,” Edward said.

“What about Bella?” Jacob asked.

“Oh, don’t worry. She’s too busy being pregnant. Anyway, I don’t want her, she’s such a skank.” Edward stepped over to Jacob, and ran his hands over his smooth, sculpted torso. He could hear Jacob’s heart, thumping faster, and the adrenaline in his blood.

“B-but what about the baby?” Jacob cleared his throat, hoarse for some reason, trying to step back. Edward flexed, his shirt ripping, flying off his body in tatters.

Jacob gulped. He realized he couldn’t step back because Edward had both his wrists in an iron grip, and was watching Jacob’s ding dong swing back and forth.

“Do you know what time it it?” Edward whispered into Jacob’s ear, surprising him and scaring him at the same time.

“Umm, noon?” Jacob guessed.

“Rape time!” Edward corrected him, and pushed him to the forest floor.

“Nooo!!” Jacob yelled.

“That’s the spirit!” Edward said, and laughed. “Isn’t this fun?”


End file.
